Breaking Stereotypes: Empowering Single Mothers to Believe in Themselves

Math, especially algebra, was my favorite subject in school. I enjoyed the challenge of solving problems presented by numbers on a page. Whether it was a simple equation or a more complex one, I enjoyed the process of figuring out the solution. There was a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment in being able to use logic and critical thinking to work through a problem. Even though I don't practice regularly as an adult, I still encounter numbers daily, such as those used to calculate how society expects me to feel as a single mother or the statistics used to categorize me.

Statistics help to give a pulse of what is occurring within a population. For example, researchers provide data on single mothers and categorize them accordingly. However, it's crucial to understand that these numbers do not define and encompass the unique qualities and experiences of the individual single mothers they represent. There is a certain passion that each single mother, for the most part, shares with each other. She wants the best for her child. She wants the best for herself. But how does she go about getting the best? I know from my own experience that getting the best does not come overnight – but with patience – the best is yet to come. As we are striving to become our best selves, we must block out the data that leads to supporting myths and stereotypes about us as single mothers.

There is a common thread among the stereotypes that single mothers encounter on a regular basis; that all single mothers are consumed with problems and have limited solutions. On the website Moms.com, the top 10 stereotypes were listed on the website which are the following:

1. They have multiple kids from multiple fathers.

2. They are raising kids with questionable judgment.

3. They cannot raise their kids as well as two parents could.

4. The majority are teenage moms

5. They are desperate to find a man

6. There are always problems with the Ex.

7. They are bitter.

8. They are lazy.

9. They can only be friends with other single moms.

10. They are on government assistance.

The statistics above paint a bleak picture of how society perceives single mothers, with no indication of positivity or support. But positivity is attainable. Look, I know that it is hard at times. Who is going to pick up my child(ren)? How am I going to afford all of these activities? It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing these stereotypes, especially when faced with financial concerns like affording the activities you want your children to enjoy. It's my personal goal to empower you to feel stronger than the negative depictions of single mothers that are continuously perpetuated in movies and media.

Let’s do this together through personal affirmations. Choose a stereotype above that you have been told or overheard. Now, I want you to follow these 4 steps: 

1. Close your eyes and visualize your most successful moment that refutes the stereotype.

2. Then, open your eyes and have a self talk – what went well during that success – what is it that you want to model again.

3. Now, look at the stereotype and tear it up – either physically or in your mind. Say the reverse of what is within the sentence.

4. Lastly, remember you are Loved, Beautiful, and Worthy

Now, I want you to take 3 deep breaths and reflect on what you wrote. We are here to support you in believing in YOU. Visit our BR Method™ page to learn more about the process and how we can support you on your journey.