authentically you - Becoming self-aware

Words are a powerful weapon, they can either hurt you, push you to improve, motivate you, and more. There are many words in our vocabulary, but not even half of them really impact our lives towards change, yet there is one that always does: Becoming. 

It is a simple word, yet has a heavy weight. Becoming is also the first process within the BUTTERFLY method. Shall we test the theory of how powerful this word is in our lives?

If someone asks you  – what do you want to BECOME? 

Which of the following options come to your mind first?

A- I have already Become…

B- I am still in the process of Becoming…

C- Or, I have no hope of Becoming…

Write down your selection, no worries, I will not ask you what you wrote! However, I will ask you to reflect upon your choice. What made you select that letter? Is there a certain life situation? Is there a transition you are going through? After reflection, I am hoping that the answer was letter B – I am still in the process of Becoming. If this was your answer, then please read on!

For this blog, I want us to focus on your process of becoming - becoming your Authentic self. Last month our topic was on the dilemmas that we face as single mothers and the push and pull of getting into a routine with children getting back to school. Now, we are hopefully getting into a routine and have some time to reflect on who you are becoming. First, I want to start with the basic terminology and research of what authenticity means;a definition that, in my words, will cover what it means to be an Authentic leader and how to work around self-awareness to show ourselves as we truly are.

Authentic leadership focuses on the importance of being true to oneself and supporting others in the areas of being genuine. But what does the topic of leadership have anything to do or what can it bring to a blog about single mothers? Well, the answer is simple. We are all leaders, we lead in every facet of our lives. We may not always have the title but we guide in ways we may not know. Pick one of the following:

  1. Chief Operations Officer - Managing the daily operations of schedules, meal times, bedtimes, and daily activities.

  2. Chief Financial Officer of Your Home - managing the finances and budgeting to ensure there is a safe haven for your family and you.

  3. Chief Executive Officer - Ensuring that there is a vision for your family and you to follow and execute.

Now, back to the research. Authenticity is described by Gardner et al (2005) as someone “…who is not only true to themselves but leads others by helping them to likewise achieve authenticity” (p. 344). The single mother, in the capacity of having dual-career responsibilities, must attempt to balance her identity in the home and workplace. The process of self-reflection and understanding the environment supports her growth as a leader in her home and career.

The single mother in her capacity as an Authentic leader develops and acts on four primary premises to being a leader: self-awareness, relational transparency, balanced processing, and internalized moral perspective (Iszatt-White & Kempster, 2019).

  • Self-awareness is an emerging process where you start to learn about what makes you - you regarding your “unique talents, strengths, sense of purpose, core values, beliefs and desires”  (Avolio and Gardner, 2005)

  • Relational transparency is about building a relationship with others either in your household or in your workplace. The key here is building an honest relationship that is based on your truths and story. If you reflect upon the reading within Shattered Glass, we talk about genuinely breaking the facade and being you.  

  • Balanced Processing is where you do an internal inventory of your biases. There are always three sides to a story - his, hers, and the truth. The important part is that you listen to all sides of a story and weigh what may be true and make the best decision based upon the perspectives heard. Basically, do not jump to judgment. 

  • Lastly, internalized moral perspective relates to the authentic leader utilizing “…moral capacity, efficacy, courage, and resiliency to address ethical issues and achieve authentic and sustained moral actions” (p. 324).

This month, I want you to build towards your authenticity by starting with the first step of Becoming. Build your self-awareness in the areas of your home that you lead the most. How do you do this, you may ask.

As you become your authentic self, the first step is to be self-aware. This means that you discover some of your hidden talents, strengths, purpose, and anything else that may define you. This is that moment where you block out the noise and say this is who I am as a woman and as a mother. If you watched the first episode of Single Mom Spotlight, Deya mentioned that you must not compare yourself to other moms. It is not about comparison but creating.

Creating your self-awareness which means looking deep inside to understand your story, history, thoughts, and how all of these link together to make you – you. Let’s give it a try. I want you to take an inventory of your unique talents. Set a timer - if needed.

Now, circle the top 3 and create 3 action steps of how to increase those talents. If you need support in building your inventory, please contact us so that we may help you to attain your wings.

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Navigating the Race to Leadership: conquering Motherhood and Professional Growth

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Dilemmas of the Working Mother - Can you relate?